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It could have been me

It was almost me
But I couldn’t
I wouldn’t
I could never I would never
Hurt you like that
I feel like you ripped out my heart and mutilated it
Go ahead try and put it back together
I highly doubt you’d find all the pieces
And the hardest part is I understand
I already forgave you
But I’m a nervous insecure wreck
I feel like a failure of a girlfriend
I feel dirty
I feel such unspeakable sadness that pours saline tears into my ducts and overflows like a hurricane
Every day I pray to god it will be my last
I just don’t want to deal with the pain anymore
It’s not always easy to ignore
So I ask you kindly
Please don’t let my eyes see Monday.

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